Wednesday, April 18, 2007.

8:44 AM
LOVES.

time: 0000
song: BU LA GE GUANG CHANG by JOLIN TSAI


today is a horrible day for me. gosh. my luck has been uber bad these few days. first, i dunno where magaret went. i think she ran away with our pays.

and today, so sucky ok. I DID A VERY TERRIBLE MISTAKE. i helped this so-called sales rep of MNA. she needed to take a pants but the promoter didnt come today. and the Venis promoter wasnt around. (what a time to go for her lunch break!). and auntie sally and springleaf auntie like dun want to help her. so, the kind soul, ME, went to get it for her. and she walked away without filling in forms or whatsoever.

auntie sally asked me whether did i take the pants for her and i said yes. she told me that she didnt have a visitor pass and sales rep are allowed to go into the store room. she scared me that the so-called sales rep might not be real. she might be a con-man. OH MAN. I WAS SO SCARED I ALMOST CRIED OK! and the spring leaf auntie didnt make me feel better, instead, she made me feel 100000000 times worse OK! i was sososososososososososososososo scared. gosh. im saying the word scared too many times in this entry.

i was sosososososo down la. but kind auntie sally went to ask the venis promoter whether is she the sales rep and she said yes. woooooooo. really made me alive again. however, she said: 'who knows, she might have quit already.' wah. from heaven straight fall to hell ah. tmd. got say machiam never say like that. made me feel even worse. HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW!

i dun mind paying for the pants if worse comes to worse. im only afraid that the company wants to make a big fuss of it and make a police report. wooo. i think you can predict my future already la. no more SIM. no need to worry whether i will get accepted anot. cause i will be in the lock up, being asked whether im an accomplice anot blahblah. OMG. i cant imagine how it will be like sia. my kindness turning against me. HAI

it feels ultra sucky when something you did out of kindness turns against you. or even someone.i feel down.

im weak. seriously weak. i.. i want to be strong.
i want to be someone who can stand up for herself and not make people dislike her also.

i want to be stronger.

can i?