Tuesday, June 05, 2007.

7:03 AM
LOVES.

im too into alice nine's lyrics now. although i have been their fan for so long, this is the first time i really truly understand what they are singing. and i realise, shou is a very nice guy. how wonderful will it be if he really is my boyfriend. *smack.

i realise that i haven been updating much.

im not feeling well these days. in the 'emo' state these few days. keep thinking bout negative stuff. sometimes, i feel unwanted. sometimes, i feel used. sometimes, i feel that people around me don't cherish me like how i cherish them. sometimes, i am jealous of the lives that my friends lead.

i want to experience love. i want to experience problems caused by love. whenever they tell me about their love lives or problems, i feel jealousy on top of everything else. why do such problems always find their way to them, instead of me? aint i human too? why dont i experience such stuff? ya. you people must be saying: siao ah. this kind of problem you also want to experience. you are lucky to not have to experience such heart ache.

well, you people are wrong wrong WRONG!

I WANT TO EXPERIENCE HEART ACHE. I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE MY HEART BROKEN. I WANT TO EXPERIENCE THOSE THINGS THAT YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS COMPLAIN ABOUT!

FUCK.

do guys really only like girls who are pretty and skinny?

i suddenly feel so shallow. ah. fuck. forget it.

YOU GUYS NEVER KNOW HOW I FEEL. MAYBE, YOU DONT EVEN GIVE A FUCKING DAMN TO ME.

i will disappear from everyone.

and just live in my own empty world.